DAVE BARRY

 
People in the computer industry use the word "user", which to them means "idiot".
- Dave Barry
Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years most of the manuals shipped with software products have actually been copies of Stephen King's The Stand with new covers pasted on.
- Dave Barry
The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.
- Dave Barry