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Tag: funny
 
"It's OK to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn't need to figure out code. You should be able to read it."
- Steve C McConnell
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mystery code figure read funny

"You never finish a program, you just stop working on it."
- Anonymous
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funny work program

"If the code doesn't bother you, don't bother it."
- Anonymous
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funny code fix

""The Internet? We are not interested in it.""
- Bill Gates
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internet funny

"If you can read this, thank a Software Developer."
- Joseph M. Abou Nader
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funny developer

"There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience. "
- Archibald McLeish
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funny

"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. "
- Bill Gates - From wikiquotes.org
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"God is real, unless declared integer. "
- Anonymous - Programming Proverb. Found in a Linux fortunes file. It's a joke. If you don't understand it, you might want to learn more Fortran.
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"A SQL query walks into a bar. He approaches two tables and says, "Mind if I join you?""
- Anonymous
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funny sql query tables

"Drug dealers:
Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).
Strange jargon: "Stick", "Rock", "Dime bag," "E".
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes.
Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions.
Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.

Software developers:
Refer to their clients as "users".
"Download a free trial version..."
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).
Strange jargon: "SCSI", "ISDN", "Java", "RTFM"
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines.
Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions - DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.
Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!"
- Anonymous
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"Putting the power of Windows Presentation Framework into the hands of developers who are unschooled in the art of user interface design is like giving liquor and Corvette keys to teenage boys. It's fun for them, temporarily, but the end results aren't pretty."
- Dave Platt
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presntation framework foundation windows WPF developer funny interface

"Fast, good, cheap: pick any two."
- Anonymous
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funny

"If you don't have a good system, make sure you get good users."
- Anonymous
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funny

"Pasting code from the internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street."
- Mike Johnson
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funny jokes code internet

"Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."
- Anonymous
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funny

"Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."
- Anonymous
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funny

"Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies."
- Linus Thorvalds
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funny backup ftp

"Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code."
- Christopher Thompson
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funny

"I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!"
- Vidiu Platon
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funny shipping machine

"Software is like sex: it's better when it's free."
- Linus Thorvalds
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funny

"The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later."
- Dave Barry
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"If the mind really is the finest computer, then there are a lot of people out there who need to be rebooted."
- Tim Bryce
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funny mind

"Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months."
- Clifford Stoll
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funny password

"Operating systems are like underwear — nobody really wants to look at them."
- Bill Joy
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