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Last Modified:
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Index of Sources
Abelson and Sussman
Douglas Adams
Scott Adams
Bilal Ahsan
Christopher Alexander
Jeremy S. Anderson
Poul Anderson
A. Hunt and D. Thomas
I. O. Angell
Anonymous
Mark Ardis
Aristotle
Joe Armstrong
Salman Arshad
Isaac Asimov
Alexander Atanasov
Malcolm P Atkinson
Jeff Atwood
Norman R. Augustine
Bernard Avishai
Charles Babbage
James Bach
Francis Bacon
Richard G. Baini
Terry Baker
Aral Balkan
Leon Bambrick
Craig Barrett
Dave Barry
Jean Baudrillard
Kent Beck
Boris Beizer
Gordon Bell
André Bensoussan
Edward V. Berard
B. Bereza-Jarocinski
Larry Bernstein
Fred Blechman
Cliff Bleszinski
Joshua Bloch
Barry Boehm
Mike Bongiovanni
Grady Booch
Nathaniel S. Borenstein
Bruno Borges
George Box
Dick Brandon
Leonard Brandwein
Wernher von Braun
Frederick P. Brooks
Bruce Brown
Milt Bryce
Tim Bryce
Bill Bryson
Rustam M. Bunyadov
Mike Butler
Tom Cargill
Roy Carlson
John Carmack
David K. Carr
Joe Celko
Assaad Chalhoub
Scott Cherf
Brady Clark
Arthur C. Clarke
Bill Clinton
Alistair Cockburn
Joe Condon
Rich Cook
Alan Cooper
Joseph Costello
P D Coward
Alan Cox
Brad J. Cox
Seymour Cray
Robert Cringeley
Bjarne Däcker
Edward David
Alan M. Davis
Tom DeMarco
L. Peter Deutsch
Edsger Dijkstra
Marc Donner
Peter F. Drucker
Tom Duff
Jeff Duntemann
Paul M. Duvall
Charles Eames
Lewis D. Eigen
Albert Einstein
Maya Elhalal
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Grant D. Fairley
R. E. Fairley
Dick Fairley
R. Fano
Peter Farrar
Ron Fein
Bran Ferren
Ernst Fischer
Brad Fitzpatrick
Brian W. Fitzpatrick
L. Flon
Robert W. Floyd
John Foderaro
Brian Foote
Martin Fowler
Jason Fried
Robert Frost
R Buckminster Fuller
R. Gabriel
Galileo Galilei
John Gall
Erich Gamma
Gandhi
Howard Gardner
Mike Garey
Bill Gates
Michel Gauthier
D. Gelernter
Susan Gerhart
Paul Gerrard
David Gerrold
Francis Glassborow
G. L. Glegg
Martin Golding
James Gosling
Paul Graham
Phil Greenspun
Scott Guthrie
Mark Hahn
Hallin and Hansen
Peter Halpern
David Heinemeier Hansson
Richard Harter
Anders Hejlsberg
Elisabeth Hendrickson
Kevlin Henney
Frank Herbert
Jim Highsmith
Richard Hill
Jason Hiner
C. A. R. Hoare
Hoffstetler
Thomas L. Holaday
Jim Horning
Robert Hummel
Watts S. Humphrey
Via Dan Hurvitz
Kaoru Ishikawa
Charles P. Issawi
Michael A. Jackson
Nigel Jacob
John Jacobs
Geoffrey James
Steve Jobs
Larry L. Johnson
Mike Johnson
Ralph Johnson
S. C. Johnson
Jones
D. Jones
Capers Jones
F. P. Jones
Joseph M. Abou Nader
Bill Joy
Cem Kaner
David Karp
Alan Kay
Raymond Kennington
H. W. Kenton
Brian Wilson Kernighan
Mitchell Kertzman
Ken Knowlton
Donald E. Knuth
Gene Krantz
Kreitzberg and Shneiderman
Steve Krug
R. Kulawiec
Kumaravel
Leslie Lamport
Butler Lampson
Peter Landin
Jaron Lanier
Lao-Tzu
Rick Lemmons
Rick Lemons
KC Lemson
Bruce Leverett
Margy Levine
Steven Levy
Joseph Licklider
Daniel T. Ling
David S. Linthicum
Tom Love
Alex Lowe
Lynas
Steve Maguire
Lew Mammel
Brian Marick
Mark Fewster and Graham
Robert C. Martin
Bob Martin
David Martin
R. L. Martin
A. Maslow
Chris Mason
Henri Matisse
Bruce Mau
David May
Jim McCarthy
Steve C McConnell
Bill McKeeman
Bill McKeenan
Archibald McLeish
H. L. Mencken
Bertrand Meyer
Rod Michael
Harlan D. Mills
Mark Minasi
M. Minsky
Dave Moon
Richard A. Moran
Mike Morton
Glenford J. Myers
Nathan Myhrvold
Eric Naggum
Jonathan Nagler
Nicholas Negroponte
Greg Nelson
Nils-Peter Nelson
Ted Nelson
John von Neumann
Jakob Nielsen
Larry Niven
Peter Norvig
Michael Nygard
Atli Björgvin Oddsson
Moses Oliver
Rick Osborne
Ray Ozzie
Meilir Page-Jones
Donn Parker
C. N. Parkinson
Dave Parnas
Rebecca Parsons
R. Pattis
George Patton
Gordon Pelton
Alan Perlis
Chris Peters
Charles Petzold
Pablo Picasso
Andy Pierson
Vidiu Platon
Dave Platt
P. J. Plauger
Karl Popper
Otis Port
Ron Porter
Chris Pratley
Archibald Putt
Steven R. Rakitin
Jef Raskin
Mitch Ratcliffe
Eric Raymond
Daniel Read
Eb Rechtin
Samuel T. Redwine, Jr.
Matt Reedy
B. Reid
Douglas J. Reilly
Dennis Ritchie
Howard Rose
Keith Rowe
Peter Van Roy
Winston Royce
John Ruskin
Bertrand Russell
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Dan Salomon
Bo Sanden
Al Schapira
Robert D. Schneider
B. Schneiderman
B. Schneier
Jeff Scholnik
Norm Schryer
Christian Schulte
R. W. Selby
Mary Shaw
Dave Shea
Beau Sheil
Olin Shivers
John Shore
Ray Simard
Phil Simon
Michael Sinz
D. Sites
Derek Sivers
Richard B. Smith
Steven Smith
Erasmus Smums
Joseph Snipp
Ron Soukup
D. D. Spencer
Joel Spolsky
Randy Stafford
Richard Stallman
G. Steele
Selden Stewart
Clifford Stoll
Dave Storer
C. Strachey
Charles M. Strauss
Bjarne Stroustrup
William Strunk
Michael Swaine
Steve Swartz
Albert Szent-Gyorgi
R. Tarjan
Russ Teasdale
R. Tennant
Christopher Thompson
Ken Thompson
Danny Thorpe
Linus Thorvalds
Bruce Tognazzini
T. DeMarco and T. Lister
Linus Torvalds
Edward Tufte
A. Turing
Stansfield Turner
Lao Tzu
Sun Tzu
S. Ulam
Mike Vanier
D. Vargas
Bert Verhelst
Al Vermeulen
Tom Van Vleck
Vic Vyssotsky
Larry Wall
James A. Ward
Thomas Watson
Gerald M. Weinberg
Peter Weinberger
Joseph Weizenbaum
Eudora Welty
David Wheeler
Alfred North Whitehead
Oscar Wilde
Maurice Wilkes
P. Williams
H. H. Williams
Dave Winer
Phillip Winter
Niklaus Wirth
Steve Witham
Stephen Wolfe
W. Wulf
Ed Yourdon
Pamela Zave
Jamie Zawinski
Craig Zerouni
Fredrik Zetterlund
Elizabeth Zwicky
Tag:
funny
"
It's OK to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn't need to figure out code. You should be able to read it.
"
-
Steve C McConnell
Tags:
mystery
code
figure
read
funny
"
You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
work
program
"
If the code doesn't bother you, don't bother it.
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
code
fix
"
"The Internet? We are not interested in it."
"
-
Bill Gates
Tags:
internet
funny
"
If you can read this, thank a Software Developer.
"
-
Joseph M. Abou Nader
Tags:
funny
developer
"
There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience.
"
-
Archibald McLeish
Tags:
funny
"
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
"
-
Bill Gates
-
From wikiquotes.org
Tags:
funny
"
God is real, unless declared integer.
"
-
Anonymous
-
Programming Proverb. Found in a Linux fortunes file. It's a joke. If you don't understand it, you might want to learn more Fortran.
Tags:
funny
"
A SQL query walks into a bar. He approaches two tables and says, "Mind if I join you?"
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
sql
query
tables
"
Drug dealers:
Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).
Strange jargon: "Stick", "Rock", "Dime bag," "E".
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes.
Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions.
Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.
Software developers:
Refer to their clients as "users".
"Download a free trial version..."
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).
Strange jargon: "SCSI", "ISDN", "Java", "RTFM"
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines.
Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions - DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.
Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
"
Putting the power of Windows Presentation Framework into the hands of developers who are unschooled in the art of user interface design is like giving liquor and Corvette keys to teenage boys. It's fun for them, temporarily, but the end results aren't pretty.
"
-
Dave Platt
Tags:
presntation
framework
foundation
windows
WPF
developer
funny
interface
"
Fast, good, cheap: pick any two.
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
"
If you don't have a good system, make sure you get good users.
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
"
Pasting code from the internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street.
"
-
Mike Johnson
Tags:
funny
jokes
code
internet
"
Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
"
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you.
"
-
Anonymous
Tags:
funny
"
Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.
"
-
Linus Thorvalds
Tags:
funny
backup
ftp
"
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.
"
-
Christopher Thompson
Tags:
funny
"
I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!
"
-
Vidiu Platon
Tags:
funny
shipping
machine
"
Software is like sex: it's better when it's free.
"
-
Linus Thorvalds
Tags:
funny
"
The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.
"
-
Dave Barry
Tags:
funny
"
If the mind really is the finest computer, then there are a lot of people out there who need to be rebooted.
"
-
Tim Bryce
Tags:
funny
mind
"
Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
"
-
Clifford Stoll
Tags:
funny
password
"
Operating systems are like underwear — nobody really wants to look at them.
"
-
Bill Joy
Tags:
funny
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